Sunday, February 19, 2017

"Young Marriage": Will it be Happy Ending?

Dear all,
so I've been planning on my marriage recently. So, "yay!" for me? Um basically, I've been happy for this, because maybe.. I like challenge. Marriage is a challenge, right? I've been dreaming of getting away from my parents and start a new life with a lifetime partner. Struggling together to build my own kingdom. Sounds like a Disney story right?

Image result for wedding ring photography
(source)

The truth is, I've been facing a dilemma, mostly because of other people judgements. You know, these days, "young marriage" has never been that 'fancy' anymore. People nowdays seems to think more of their career or financial fulfillment before they got married. And they think that people that married young, is a foolish (trust me, I heard one say this kind of thing). They think people that have young marriage is dreaming of a happy ending, and not thinking about the struggle, the sacrifice, and other worst situations.

You know what, I'm aware of that, guys!
Even though I'm more like a Disney girl, I don't dream and think like Disney girl. I know how hard it is to maintain a relationship with someone, who is basically a total different from you (re: a guy). I know how hard it is to maintain your financial needs while you're dreaming of travelling around the world or buying fancy lipsticks. I know how hard it is to keep your head sane while your baby is crying and while you need to get your households done. You know what, I know, I'm aware it. 

I'm an overthinker. And moslty, an overthinker got furious and don't want to get married or run away from getting married (you know I've been reading some articles that says it is definately a manifestation of frustration of marriage thinking). They always think that being married will take your freedom forever. You will have financial struggle, you can not travel freely, it's hard to take higher education, you just can't do what you want and become less happy. Especially for a woman! Well, I don't think about what happy things I do when I've got married, but I think about what I CAN do to be happy when I've got married.

I do not want to judge people who don't get married till 30 or above, I don't want to say that people "delaying" marriage. It's about our choices right? But I also don't want people judge me because I will get married "too early", you think I'm 10 years old? And also it's a same thing about having a child. No one has the right to judge people by their choices. 

So, if you guys ever wondering, here are my reasons to have a "young age marriage":

1. Because he asked!
I could've say no, but I have no reason to say no. You know, being married in my religion is one chance to complete half of my religion. I'm not Anna from Disney Frozen who want to get married when meeting a guy for the first time. Of course I've been through that dilemma. "What if this is the worst choice?"/ "what if he's not the one?". But I have this friend that tells me "nikah itu ibadah". Marriage is a part of worshiping God. As long as your will is to Allah SWT, whatever choice you take will be a good way. Well, he is the first one to ask me to get married, and I'm in a proper age, so... :)

2. Because I'm 23!
I'm not young, I'm old, oh God. How do you supposed to think that you're still young when you're already 1/4 of your lifetime (or maybe 1/3? you never know until when you'll be alive right?). Actually I've already made my lifetime plan, including when will I want to have kids. I'm planning to have my first child in age 25 maximum. By that time I will see my first child graduate college at 47, and maybe watching my first child's wedding at 50. And not mentioning the second child or next! I just don't want to get very old before my children can live alone by theirselves (or with their halal partner). Ok then, BUT..... I didn't set when will I get married. (But of course it has to be before having first child! duh!). So I think this age is a good choice I would take to get married.

Well, I have other personal reasons that I don't need to share. But my point is, I'm not getting married because I want a happy ending. Because marriage is not a goal, but it's a beginning of a process. And it will always be a process until you die. 

#roadtomarriage

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